Can you guess what this is a list of?

- Super Bowl Champion New York Giants Report to Training Camp
- 1st Place New York Mets
- 3rd Place New York Yankees
- Dark Knight in IMAX
- Tickets to Bob Dylan in Prospect Park
- Quitting my job immediately followed by a month in Montauk
- NY Knicks drafting a 6'10" Italian dude to go with their mustached Italian coach
- High Potency Marijuana known as Trainwreck
- SPACED finally released on a DVD that will work in my DVD player
- Undefeated regular season and #1 playoff seed in softball

If you guessed "the strongest arguments in a long, long time against my suicide" give yourself a gold star.

posted by JoeEmail this post

Cute CNN - but WTF?

Yeah, hilarious - you're headlines can now be T-Shirts. Good for you, I'm sure this made those interns that come up with the headlines feel real important for a few days. Truth be told, this is a good idea and a great way to pump some money out of interneteers (interneteers is the term I'm trying to coin for people that use the internet - it'll catch on, just you wait). Did I say it was a good idea? I meant it would be a good idea if they didn't restrict the headlines you could turn into t-shirts. There are some demented minds (aka sick fucks) out there and maybe they want a t-shrit that says 'Police Kill Man at Radio Station'. Its not particularly funny or even interesting but that's exactly why I want it - because you won't understand why I have it. And that makes it funny to me. Let the people decide you fascist pigs.

Note: I'm aware their behavior isn't really fascist but it just feels like something you say after 'let the people decide'.

UPDATE: How can "Obama, Brown discuss 'special relationship'" not be a t-shirt?

posted by GuyEmail this post

Firefox 3 is ruining my life

My browsing history used to be somewhat private. I delete it daily but occasionally I forget and occasionally a bukkake site pops up as a suggestion when my girlfriend was using my computer.
"Oh, it was just a pop up when I went to some sports site. I don't even know what - is it boo hockey? - porn is?' I used to say.
Well those days are long gone. Thanks to the incredibly intelligent Firefox 3, you can now type any key on the keyboard and bang, two regular sites and about 19 porn sites pop up - right there in front of you. It's bad, really bad. But making things worse, firefox 3 shows the little porn site logos on the browsing history. Even if your girlfriend misses the listing of mr. cho's bank-cock bukkake, the cute asian girl that looks like she got caught in a semen blizzard usually gives it away. Where is my 'browser history porn filter add-on' Firefox? Where huh? Tell me now cause I can't lose my girlfriend and I'm definitely not losing internet porn.

posted by GuyEmail this post

Anything is Possible!!!

Well, except of course KG scoring high enough on the SAT's to go to college. But besides that, yeah...ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!

posted by JoeEmail this post

Hey GoDaddy...

If I ever see you out on the street I am going to go Bas Rutten on your ass for ruining the very small amount of momentum we had going on the site before you crashed it and drove a death blow of a spike through our blogging hearts.

posted by JoeEmail this post

Godaddy. com can suck it

Worst hosting service ever.

posted by GuyEmail this post

Recipe for Suicide

1) Watch this AT&T commercial.
2) Think about the fact that some Ad agency exec gets paid a six figure salary to greenlight ideas like this.
3) Think about what you do for a living and how much you get paid.

posted by JoeEmail this post

At least the parents should know better

The families of two young boys in Hawaii are in a legal battle over a game-worn David Beckham jersey that the soccer star gave away following an exhibition game in Honolulu.

You can't blame the kids here for arguing as they are too young to realize that soccer is GAY and fighting over the jersey of a guy who at this point is more model than athlete makes them little pansy bitches.

The parents on the other hand should be ashamed of themselves for adding fuel to the fire and getting lawyers involved. Unless of course they are fighting for the jersey so they can steal it from their child, sell it on eBay and use the money to pay for expensive electro-shock therapy that'll "unqueer" their kid.

posted by JoeEmail this post

Movie Trailer Review: Lakeview Terrace

This new Samuel L. Jackson vehicle is a must-see for at least three groups of people.

First, the idiots (and Academy members) who loved "Crash". California (specifically the area in L.A. where Rodney King was beaten), a bi-racial couple, the police, Sam Jackson, do you guys want to just give it some awards now or should you wait 'til it comes out first?

Next, those people with half a brain who were sure that "Crash" was the most forced movie of all time and were certain that no film before or after would be so ridiculously contrived simply to stir up racial dialogue. Be sure if you go see this in the theatre that you are wearing a hat...it'll help to keep your head from exploding.

And finally it should be viewed by those folks who just can't get enough of Samuel L. screaming ridiculous things. I mean if you thought "Does...he...look...like...a...bitch!?!?" was a classic Sam Jackson line wait until you hear "I'm the police...you have to do what I say!!!" in Dolby HD.

posted by JoeEmail this post

This is not funny

posted by GuyEmail this post